Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Let's fly~~~, Up, up, here we go, go, let's fly~~~, Up, up here we go, go, where we stop nobody knows, knows. Lalalala. I've been posting the same song in my Facebook and then i'm singing it here also. I'm in love with this song. Cause finally i had my point on why i love to fly so much. Although it doesn't make sense with my reasoning and the meaning of the song. As usual, when was it i have been appropriate with my reasoning of liking something? I like the part where it says 'Where we go, we don't need roads, where we stop nobody knows'. I like that part the most. Somehow that is the life that i'm trying to create. I want to pursue my happiness with something rather extraordinary. My head are filled with the novel-like scene. Some might called it daydreaming but that dream i want to make it a reality somehow. Although i realize it will take a long time and a lot of patience, i don't regret it. Except of course i can never challenge the test that is between me and my family. When that occurs i always end up giving up but it doesn't mean i'm stopping. Just like this song sung by Far East Movement ft. Ryan Tedder. Nobody really did know whether i stopped or not. They didn't ask nor i bother to talk about it. Most people nowadays use the terms seeing is believing. So, it's kind of hard to open their eye with their stubborn to the bone nature. Or should i say just some useless egoistic nature. Only i know where my story and my journey ends. Beside The Almighty Allah, of course. I'm not a magician nor a fortune teller which is probably why i fear about my own future a bit. But i trust what i believe in and it is not something that i'm taking for granted. So, in conclusion, let's fly Daisy. Although we might stop for fuel and such but we will still be flying. Cause i know i need to make a stop to look back what i missed.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

When i do have a chance to ask a certain thing from my family, i'll only ask if they will allow me to go somewhere far and let me enjoy my happiness there. It is not that i'm not happy when my family are around me but i need a bit of privacy to clear of my head and think about some other things. Other things that have been pending for quite a while. That is why i wanted to make a nice long trip so that i can stop and stare at the place that captivates my attention and also my heart. I know, they won't allow me to go since i was planning to go alone but i don't have anyone else to bring with me at the moment. Although i did invite one or two of my friends but it seems they have other commitment also. That is why i make a decision to go alone. Since i'll be heading off alone, it won't be a hassle or burden if i bring others with me. But it would be nice to be taking my friends along with me in this trip. But then, they can't stay for long like i do. This is the reason why i prefer working all solo. And of course there's more to hold onto. There's a good and bad in being solo. Tough.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Suddenly i feel sleepy. But then i can't do any of the sort. I have to enjoy the weekends because i'm totally free during weekend. I seem to be making my own rule no matter where i go. I wonder who can stop me? Yes, i do know the answer and another question pops into my head for i wonder how long i'll be able to stand when obeying other people's rule. Cause somehow i still make the twist and the turns the way i wanted in a way that no one can see. I don't have much that i can talk about. Beside being broke and so on. So, i don't really know what to talk about. I'm speechless and feeling regret of all sorts. My regret comes from the bag that i bought. I hate buying something expensive. It annoys me. But i was tempted by the design and such. And it is something that i want for so long. This is what happen if i hold back. I need to get hold onto myself.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Finally i'm able to update this whole thing. I lost my pen so i can't update or share anything in the book that i have with me. Although it is just a pen but i really love that pen. You could say that pen save me from everything that happen around me. It save my heart and were always there when i needed it. I've been searching for it and i know my nephews were the one at fault. I put it in a proper place and hidden but as usual curious kids like them really challenge me in every way. Somehow i just have to accept that it is no longer there. It has been a while i didn't write anything but i start off by talking about my pen. Now that is something that you can expect from me.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I really did wish that i could disappear into thin air. Or be someone who could fall off from the world or the so-called-earth. But it's impossible unless there ain't more gravity that could hold onto me. I'm dead. I didn't realize i have to deal with another heart matter. And here i am feeling all proud cause i finally move on and forget about him. That was my happiest moment and it's what i called freedom because i can do whatever i want and start dreaming of something big. As usual, it ain't always sunshine. There has to be rainy day and here comes the rain along with the thunder to shakes my peaceful place. Seriously, does he really have to come back? When i buried it all already and when i've decided to just live how i always wanted without any worries. If i do have worries, mostly it's about me. Unfortunately, what i want seem to be the hardest thing to reach at the moment. I guess it is time for me to face what i called the grown up thing. I'll tell you more. So, read on.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

How's life treating you? Now that is something that i always asked whenever i message a friend of mine. It has become our trend to message that way. The replies that we get is very satisfying cause from that simple question which we took seriously, it ends with a complete package. But for those who didn't take it seriously then it would never worked out. My friend told me her cat just passed away and it's a sad news. I don't like hearing that. I've seen and buried to many dead cat. Whether they get knock by a car pass by, kittens being rolled onto wheels and their whole bodies were squashed, die because of a certain disease or even just went missing and appear in my dream sending a message to let me know that they are gone. I stopped getting attached to a cat because i don't want to get hurt again but i don't think i can do that. It is rather impossible. Talking about cats remind me of Spiky. I called him that because his fur was all spiky when he was small. He went missing and i was feeling rather sad and everything. I think i got depressed because of it. It has been a week and i still call out his name and waits for him to come home because he always does no matter what. And then after two weeks or so, i dream of him. He went back home and i was so happy. I hugged him so tight and spent all of my time with him. I gave him the food that i kept for him and when i woke up, i know that he's gone forever. And i know i have to stop waiting for him. I know some might think it's impossible and too good to be true type of story but this is from my own experience. Even my sister also deal with the same thing. She was attach to another cat and she dream of that cat. I remember the night before he went missing he only meow once and then he was gone. Heartbreaking. I'm sure my friend would feel miserable and all that and as far as i know she haven't got over with her loss. I'm sorry my friend but this is what happen when we get too attached to them. And i know we cannot resist of their specialty. I'm sorry.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Tomorrow is the last day that i can have a bit of time off in the morning and on the afternoon. The day after i just hope it will end smoothly. I think i become someone who is fierce because of my nephews. I can't believe i don't bother with their crying and such. I'm being evil but i can't help it. They learn too many inappropriate thing while they were sent to nursery. Eventually, i'm here to discipline them. Things got rough. Although i am being fierce and such, i'm not going to do something harmful. I do have a heart. I am not that heartless. Though i look like someone who don't bother a thing but who knows what's in my heart. But seriously, they do get on my nerves. The small one, i don't really bother cause i know that it is not worth it of shouting here and there to him when he don't understand anything. So, most of the time i raise my voice or lowered it to the other one. He's 4 years old now and it drives me nuts. I'm sensitive when little kids like him are being rude. If other thing, their shouting and such i can still handle it although it kills my ear but i lost my temper when he's being rude. I don't like seeing him disrespect his grandmother or auntie or his parent. I'm not fond of that so that is why i'll be doing the unexpected when they didn't take control of it. So, do mind your manners in front of me. I do take it seriously.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Daisy, i'm sleepy no matter what. I can't help but wishing weekends is a bit longer. I just want to rest and rest. But i'm planning to go out next week. End of the week. I want to go out alone but my sister won't let me go alone. One day i know she would let me. I just want to go to certain places and enjoy my time at the bookstore or have a cup of chocolate shake or even walking around to kill some time. All in all i just want to walk somewhere. But i don't want to walk into supermarket and such. What exactly i'm doing there? I have a grand plan and then i end up in a supermarket??? Oh no. I want to buy something for my mom and my freaking sister. That sister of mine will be my end of poverty if she keep on asking something expensive and hard to find. Hopefully she won't forget about repaying me one day. But i have decided that i will go out if i received my payment which i don't know whether my sister can afford to pay me or not. She put herself into debts from credit card and such. Seriously, don't own a credit card. It's the beginning of everything. So, no matter what don't get yourself a credit card. It is for your good. No matter how big you make a month it's not worth it if you have credit card. I know you don't want to keep a lot of money inside your purse and such but there is solution to everything. Either you buy the things that you can afford according to the money inside your purse or use a debit card if you really want it. Just use it once and when you get back home always check how much left in your debit card. It is better that way. In conclusion, don't own a credit card no matter what.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I'm sleepy although i wake up late this morning. Can't help it. The temptation of sleeping has lure me to wake up late. Well it's what i do. If i don't eat then i'll be sleeping. Since i don't have new novels then i do have some limited edition of the things that i like to do. I could do something else but it depends on my mood. If i feel like window shopping then there's no stopping me. Or i could just have my own adventure. I would love to do just that. But all in all, i'm just bored of the busy life. So right now, i prefer staying at home. Maybe next week i'll be out and about. Only on weekends since that's the only time that i have for myself. On week days, i'm too busy being the maid of the house. I can't say maid of honour. Another term that i call onto myself. Urgh, i still want to sleep. But let's just make it normal again cause tomorrow it will be hell. I'll be raising my voice and making them sleep. That is the easiest part and the hardest part is when i have to cook for the kids. I have limited talent in cooking and i only know much about baking cakes and such. In simple cooking, i do a lot of experience in it and sometimes it work and sometimes it turns out funny but edible. All in all, i suck at cooking a simple dish. Here's the girl who once enter a cooking course. Well, as it turns out we don't cook simple stuff and that is why i'm yearning to explore other places to learn more about special but simple dishes. Right now i'm interested how to make noodle and making soup or stew. That is what i always want to do ever since i finished my diploma. I know most would suggest me to further my studies but i think differently cause i want to learn it in a simple way. By barging into someone's house and know the people there. I'm insane right? For someone who need to learn how to socialize is out of range. But i do want to get out of my comfort zone. Anyone would want to hire me and teach me in return? I do have some impossible thoughts right? But i wouldn't be D if i think normal. One of my charm and uniqueness. I can't believe i'm praising myself. But who would do such a thing? Let me be the one to do the talking or to shut people up. I have to shorten my thought cause my nephews are awake and i've promise one of them to play with them. Guns and fake dying. I can't believe i'm able to do such a thing. Well, anyway i'll continue once i settle everything. Until then Daisy.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I have some great moment in life. I wouldn't lie about it. Not everything about me is dull and miserable cause i am determined to grasp my own happiness. Although i have to fight everyone around me to grasp that very precious moment and such, i know i'll be able to fix things. Time give me everything that i need. And i gain patience from that. Life is not to be rushed. When there are things that i can't achieve and it is my time to 'leave' at least i won't regret a lot of things cause i know there has to be something more meaningful than the life that i lead now. Up until now, i think i never really did share anything that makes me happy. Probably i don't really want to tell people what makes me happy. I like to make it mysterious and the sad thing that i share is mostly because i want to avoid having to face the same thing over and over again. Or probably i just want to be strong and hopefully i'll find answer in this head of mine. It's how i handle my over thinking head. Weird but i believe not only me who handle this kind of thing this way. We haven't been found and gather together. Argh, my head. Some impossible thing creeps up into my head again. Giving a live image of everything that i want to see. I probably better off being a  producer or film maker. I wonder why i'm giving this unimportant thing. Blast it.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I'm loving the song that i'm hearing right now. Well, i do tend to like to listen to something unique and usually that is my taste in every thing. My friends, my favourite things, the music of my choice and etc. I can't write the whole thing that i like can i? I'll be making you doze off before i could start telling you some more bedtime story. Nah, just kidding. I don't have any good story anyway. I finally found my pace in doing things and finally i get to feel comfortable. Not that comfortable but at least not too awkward. Yes, i do have a problem with socializing with outsiders aka strangers. I seem to be making myself a fool to their eye or someone who don't know how to socialize. Pardon me for all that. I have some issue with my confidence when it comes to talking with people that is connected to my family or connected to my friends. Cause i don't know what story that they bring to them and tell them about me, so i can't be comfortable at all. If it was with strangers i have two choice. Ignore them or return a great deal to them by smiling if i have the mood, that is. Always with condition when i'm doing something rather extraordinary in my safe zone. Now, why did i talk about this? Something ignite my hand to keep on typing something rather unimportant. Probably.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

The buzzing and bloodsucking mosquitoes really annoys me. Especially when i'm trying to concentrate on certain things. Yes, like what i'm doing right now. Anyway, forget that. I write such a short post from me last night. Well, probably because i was too sleepy and the laptop is too tempting. So when my sister asked whether i want to use the laptop or not, automatically i said yes without thinking although i hardly keep my eye open. Yes, i am telling that i'll be fine for now but i just don't know when will i occur something that make me think to forgive myself again. So, it is kind of hard for me to convince that i'm fine when i know that my heart is too fragile if i lose my self-composed. For now Daisy, i'll be fine. And it is a fine day indeed.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I'll be fine for now. And i will always will. Until then Daisy.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

No, i am not going to say 'Happy New Year' and such cause i already celebrate my new year according to the Muslim calendar. Yes, i'm pretty bold in that and no, i'm not a hypocrite. Although i did wish my friend a happy new year and such but believe me that is out of polite. Afterall i only wish it to one person only and probably she didn't took notice of that since we were busy discussing something else. What i'm doing right now? Probably wishing that i could die right away. Ahack. Nah, it was a jest. It has been a while. Did you miss me? Cause i know i did. But i have been writing the whole thing happen in my white book. Since the black book is fullhouse so i need a new one. And that white book, i snatch it from my sister before i asked. I'm always like that. So, she gets it. Bwahahaha. Roll under.