Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

A friend of mine ask about him again. The heated romance between me and him. She asked me am i still with him. How long has it been? Has it been a year already or what? I would say maybe for about two years already. I, who once believe in love has stopped believing in it. All of this due to my last relationship. You might say i always failed in every relationship that i make. No matter how hard i fight for it, being loyal and everything it seems the little obstacles that Allah brought upon us has made us apart forever. Yes, it does hurt. I won't lie about it but i have move on but i'm only standing at the same spot. Too afraid to face the future. How interesting. It seems an obstinate person like me do have something that i'm afraid of. It's normal, isn't it? I'm fine. Like i always do. All of that memories i'll bury it and put on my own mask.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

My ' kaola bear'

 I miss my 'koala bear'. This is the reason why i don't want to get so attached to human being. I don't too miss them so much that it pains me. I know i'm being unreasonable but it happen in any situation. Whether i'm away from my family, friends whom i'm close to and not to mention my love one. I can't stand having to miss someone because somehow it gives me a heartache. The reason why i don't want to get along with people. I forbid myself getting to know them or even care about them. The only thing that i can't control is between my family. Thus, i often feeling heartache if i'm apart. Odd and unreasonable reason for me too limit myself towards other people. Probably the reason why i chose to live in forest or something. Just somewhere peaceful without too many people. I've considered living off countryside but there's still too many people so i end up choosing somewhere close to ravine or something. It's peaceful there. For me, i guess.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

It's a bit quite at home. My nephew already went back to their place and that's left an empty shell. Which i'm not really sure why i indicate the quiteness to an empty shell. Whatever. My head need a little bit of fixing right now. I miss my nephew or my 'koala bear'. I have two nephews actually but the young one is close to me. He always want me to hold him or bring him and i just love doing just that. I think it's fun and he seem attached to me. But of course nothing can compare his parent of course. I'm just his aunt aka Mak Lang. ekekeke,, It sounds funny when i call myself that. Can't help it. Anyway, now that they went back it really does feel quite. I hope they're doing great there and i hope i can see them soon. Probably next year. During Eids. But then, will he remember me? Will he be my koala bear again? I guess there are certain things i need to keep it in my memory.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Yes, i have been busy but i'm always busy. I don't know why i like being busy eventhough it's tiring. My sister's wedding is done and finally i can rest but i miss my room. Now i have to give up my room for the newly wed. How uncool is that. Well whatever. I don't want to whine or make such a big fuss about it. It is just not my style of doing so.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

It's cold in my room. Finally the aircond is in my room. Oh yeah... But i'm worried if i'll be able to sleep tonight since it's sooooooooooo cold. I know i can turn it off but then i'm too lazy to do so. I'm known for my laziness but seriously, i just realize how lazy i am. Lazy as a sloth. Whatever. I know i'll change my lazy attitude since i notice it already. 

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I know on my last post i suddenly stopped out of nowhere and you're probably mad at me for not finishing the whole story. You must be thinking why i acted out like this. Why all of the sudden i just stop talking. Well Daisy, the truth is i hope and i wish i won't tell you another heartbreaking or any pain that i felt after my 23rd birthday. But it does seem rather impossible to do so. Now, here i am wondering when will it end. Staring at the ceiling won't do me anything , right Daisy? 

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I guess every bright day has it's rainy moments. Just like i do Daisy. It's a bit tense in this very house. I don't know what went wrong and i don't know how to fix it. Right now, i hope, i wish i know what is wrong and what is right. The decision that i'm going to make, i don't know if it will make things better or worse. I wish i am a fortune teller but i'm glad i'm not since life would be pretty boring and terrifying if i know the future. Suddenly, my family spreads out the tense atmosphere that somehow it's getting harder and harder to breathe. Oh, Daisy... I can't take this anymore. I don't know for how long i'll be able to be patient before i snapped on everyone around me. I don't know who suffers more. I just don't know anymore. All i know is, find me a place to mend my heart Daisy. This whole situation is too painful for me. Please,,, Somebody, just please let me cry or shed a tears.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I think my curiosity and my ignorance seems to be dead of me nowadays. But i guess it's better that way. At least that is the reason why i'm a bit crazy and different from other. Now i don't even know what i'm talking about. Well, i have to move on and forget the hatred. Congrats to my ex-boo for his upcoming wedding or whatever it is. I wish him happiness and may their love will always be forever. There, i've said it. I forgive him but i can never forget what he has done to me. I can never be an angel so this is my part of being the devil. But i wish him well. That is all i could do for now.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Yosh, it has been an interesting day but normal for you (maybe). I finally get my lazy bone out of the house. Well the reason i'm willing to do so because i'm meeting with my friends and enjoying my time with her. It has been years i didn't meet her so we had a lot of catching up to do. But she knows my story because there's always Facebook eventhough we rarely see each other. So i might want to correct that part. We just want to see each other and see how we're doing after so many years pass by. I didn't even realize that we have been apart for nearly 5 years maybe. I'm glad my friendship with her is still strong as ever.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

After quite some time i didn't update you, i wonder how you're doing lately? I won't say i'm busy but i'll just say i'm being lazy again. For the past few days, i have been feeling down, disappointed and heartbroken with my friends. I don't even know if this is normal but for me it isn't. The one thing i really treasure the most is friendship. If i told you, you are my friend then it is friends for life. I won't ignore you when you're in need nor will diss you when you want me to be somewhere. I'll trust and keep my faith in you. Just like in Gokusen. I want to have that forever bond with you and it's something that i control and its within my own power to do so. No one can say anything about that. But, it seems like these friends of mine take things for granted. I am so heartbroken to the point i don't care anymore what she's doing and whatever happen to her. I just don't care anymore. It pains me enough to make me feel grumpy for a few days already. I can't believe this whole thing. The fact that she got someone special beside her, i don't give a damn at all. All i want her to see is the friendship that we should treasure for the rest of our life. Having her as my 'friend' makes me feel regret for protecting her ass back then and letting me to take all the bitterness of life while she takes all the credit. Right now, this is the end of everything. Whatever it is now, i don't want to bother about it anymore. 

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I miss him you know but then i shouldn't have let this feeling goes on. I saw him again yesterday. As usual i can only smile at him. He came to our house to take the stairs while i was busy cleaning and moving the boxes. I know i look ugly at that moment but i can't hide elsewhere. At least he saw me and i saw him too. I wish we both can have good conversation without my parent or my siblings. I guess i really do need to forget about him but this feeling of mine keep on thinking about him. I know i shouldn't. If i let it goes on i will make his life into hell. Even i got scared of my ownself. So how could i do more than that. I don't want to ask for more but i'm thankful for the oppurtunity of meeting him.

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I have been busy for the past few days. Since we are going to celebrate Eids we're doing wiring in our house and i'm in charge in cleaning up the mess. I don't mind cleaning up the mess because it's a natural thing but the thing that i do mind and start to ignore is when my dad nagged at me and boss me around. I don't like that part. I don't know wh, i know i should respect him but then because i'm always apart from him i don't match with his attitude so i tend to ignore everything that he says. It's annoying. For me it is. I don't like being boss around when it is just a simple matter. It's a pain in the neck.