Friday, January 7, 2011

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

The buzzing and bloodsucking mosquitoes really annoys me. Especially when i'm trying to concentrate on certain things. Yes, like what i'm doing right now. Anyway, forget that. I write such a short post from me last night. Well, probably because i was too sleepy and the laptop is too tempting. So when my sister asked whether i want to use the laptop or not, automatically i said yes without thinking although i hardly keep my eye open. Yes, i am telling that i'll be fine for now but i just don't know when will i occur something that make me think to forgive myself again. So, it is kind of hard for me to convince that i'm fine when i know that my heart is too fragile if i lose my self-composed. For now Daisy, i'll be fine. And it is a fine day indeed.

Lot of things happen. My mom is actually sulking with my other sisters. Usually, i'm there to console her. But now i'm here, far away from her, she thinks a lot about other things. It is not something that i want her to do. But then my freaking sister just don't get it. I really wish i could disrespect them for once. But i did tell my older sister(here) that my mom is sulking with them. My mom said that they promise her a lot of things and now it all become into some sort of pain to her memory. I don't like that cause i know how it feels. I live all my life believing in other people's promises and until now but it all turn out nothing. Although i don't feel like keeping in touch with this kind of people but i do hope of miracles. I like it when my waiting is worth it. It washed away the black side of that person. Not because of the sunburn. Just the terms that i use. I know i create a lot of terms for other people but this is kind of fun. But i'm not making fun of people since i don't share this term to other people. I use it for my entertainment. Enough of that. My dear sisters, i wish i could clash your head together so that i can rest in peace. Seriously, fulfill your promise with mom already. My freaking sister. Better just stay at home when you forgot what you said. Although you guys didn't say anything about promise but your words alone sound promising to their ear. So, be done with it!!! Damn it!!!

Sorry, Daisy. I curse again. But i like using that word rather than that f thing. It hurt my eye and my ear when i hear or read it. And i also don't like hearing them saying s*** or read it. I had enough of that. My imagination gone wild cause in my head i'll be seeing the dump. Yes, the dump aka poop. Okay, enough of the talk. I feel like i want to puke. I wonder why i bother to explain anyway. 

Guess what?? I feel funny cause one of my friend asking me why i'm running away from him. Certainly i am not running away. He's my classmate when i'm in SMTS. Ironically, we don't talk that much although we're in the same class. I have some issue in my head at that time. So years later, he found me in Facebook and exchange phone numbers and rarely send message. Suddenly today, he sent a message saying his whereabouts and ask mine. When i said i'm in Shah Alam, he accuse me of running away from him. Now that is funny. Asking me to meet when i know it will be an awkward moment, i do believe i am running away from him if i'm still at Kuching right now. I might be making 1001 of excuses. Seriously, i can't handle that moment. It drive me nuts. Back to the story, since i'm here, he then said that he'll wait. I'll die by that time. I wish people would stop waiting for me. Not worth it. But i know guy like him only know how to play with word and expecting me to feel flatter or happy by his word. What book did he buy to flirt with me? Although i'm like this, please be aware i can flirt with other guy if i want to. But what is the point of me doing that? I don't have any intention of adding another small thing in my head. If he do want to meet me as a friend, please don't use any terms of endearment in the message. It kills me just to see and read it. We'll let time sees our future.

Well, that is not all that happen. But since i have to wake up early tomorrow, note that i am not an early riser, i have to get my rest well tomorrow since it will be a battle between me and my nephews. I'm glad that my brother-in-law's sister and mother are here otherwise, things would be hell. But i think i'm handling it well. As if. Pray that for me Daisy. I miss you and i do hope that 'pilot' is somewhere out there. Until then Daisy.

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