Sunday, January 2, 2011

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

No, i am not going to say 'Happy New Year' and such cause i already celebrate my new year according to the Muslim calendar. Yes, i'm pretty bold in that and no, i'm not a hypocrite. Although i did wish my friend a happy new year and such but believe me that is out of polite. Afterall i only wish it to one person only and probably she didn't took notice of that since we were busy discussing something else. What i'm doing right now? Probably wishing that i could die right away. Ahack. Nah, it was a jest. It has been a while. Did you miss me? Cause i know i did. But i have been writing the whole thing happen in my white book. Since the black book is fullhouse so i need a new one. And that white book, i snatch it from my sister before i asked. I'm always like that. So, she gets it. Bwahahaha. Roll under.

I'm dead. Taking care of my nephew is hard enough and now they are going to have their in laws in this house. Now how am i suppose to handle that? They're coming today and seriously i don't have enough rest at all. My morning was wasted just like that. I don't really care actually but i wished that they would stop being lazy and stop screaming. They're killing my very own ear. I forgot. I'm at my sis's place right now if you are still wondering where i am.

Sorry Daisy, i don't really have much to tell right now and i do beg for my effort in updating you with only this. It turns out when you're gone, that is when people start to miss you the most. Isn't it interesting? As if.  But seriously, there's not much i could tell. One of my nephew are scared of me. My very own 'koala bear'. Do you remember a picture that i once post with my 'koala bear'? He's the one that scared of me right now. I can't get close to him and right now, i don't know how to make him to be close to me. He's the one that i will be taking care when their parent's go to work and on the afternoon, his brother will be coming home from the nursery @ school. Something like that. This is some sort of a training right? I'm going to be dead. And i do hate raising my voice cause i just don't feel like it. I wonder why i have this kind of attitude.

Daisy, as you know, i did mention i was ready for the long term relatioship and such but now that i think again i can't. I really can't. I could tell my mom to fix me up with one of her friends who are looking for a wife for her son but i can't. I really can't go on no matter what. There's too many stuff that i have to think about. I'm really an idiot. I know i am still young but i don't want to get to old for my future generation. If anyone get what i mean by that. I still want to be strong by that time and to be able to lead them before i do take my last breathe. This whole thing got me thinking again whether i'll be able to live that long. It's hilarious. But truthfully Daisy, i'm really scared.

I really do wonder why i agreed to be here. Now i have to hear them quarrel probably most of the time. I really don't like it when married people quarrel in front of my eyes. I learned stuff too quickly and that is one of the reason why i can't go on but feeling scared. I want a happy family with less quarrel. Will that be possible Daisy and will it be hard to achieve? Men sometimes don't know what are they dealing with and usually make their decision according their own emotional state. Yes i know men don't use emotion to affect their live but sometimes when it comes to marrying the one they love, they forgot about being rational. That is why things become harder when they're married especially when they didn't really see it coming. Some might think it's easy and there's solution to everything but is it really like that? You are dealing with women. Being the leader of thousand's men is easier than leading your own wife. Trust me in that. Cause i just said that i learn too quickly. I didn't state the other some of men cause they can think it for themselves. Unless they still can't conclude what i'm trying to say with their pride and ego blocking their head. Gosh, no wonder i'm too scared to have a long term relatioship again and just stop there. But do right me if i'm wrong. I am a woman indeed and there are still some that i can't figure in the heart of men. Especially when their face is calm but their heart is like another maze with a lot of puzzles. That is what i would call it. Oh, gosh, they're quarreling again. I wish i was asleep right now.

Do let me see the better things about everything again and let me see the beautiful side of it again. I really want to see it once more and make it bloom before they forgot about certain things again. It's impolite to quarrel in front of your other family member. That is what i think. Me and the impossible thinking. I guess it will be a while again before i update you with more of my head since my brother-in-law will be heading to China for some business trip, my guess. So, i'm signing off now. Please, don't miss me. I could become eyelashes-less by the time i get back. People say if your eyelashes tend to fall, someone miss you. You know what i think, it was only due to some weak root. Bwahahahaha. I can't talk scientifically but i can talk about nonsense-tically. Until then Daisy.

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