Now life is not that bad. Besides getting myself praying for more patience, in the end i only wish for one thing. Forget about being married and have babies. I have enough of the crying and all that attitude. I realize i will never make a good mother when i am so wounded. I told myself not to carry it to the next generation but then it turns out to be a battle. Indeed it is. I would call it war among my inner me and that's when i realize and truly notice that i am so wounded to the point i forgot what it is having to raise a kid. Not my kid. I'm not even married. But i did told you that i'm babysitting my sister's kid and it really kind like knock me out. Marriage is not a simple thing to do and that includes having babies. There are times when my patience gets the best of me and i'm always scared what would happen cause it's really bad. The scar that i had is really bad to the point i'm about to lose my sanity. That's why i always seem to be more quiet when i had a feeling i would blast off. It is such a scary moment. Thankfully i can handle all of this myself cause that is what i do all day long. Mending the broken. I'm grateful having a way to work things out. Until then Daisy.