Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

A friend of mine ask about him again. The heated romance between me and him. She asked me am i still with him. How long has it been? Has it been a year already or what? I would say maybe for about two years already. I, who once believe in love has stopped believing in it. All of this due to my last relationship. You might say i always failed in every relationship that i make. No matter how hard i fight for it, being loyal and everything it seems the little obstacles that Allah brought upon us has made us apart forever. Yes, it does hurt. I won't lie about it but i have move on but i'm only standing at the same spot. Too afraid to face the future. How interesting. It seems an obstinate person like me do have something that i'm afraid of. It's normal, isn't it? I'm fine. Like i always do. All of that memories i'll bury it and put on my own mask.

Mask can really be a dangerous thing. I realize it a couple days ago. I had too many things happen at that time and i force myself to smile and act like a door. It seems everytime i put on that mask, slowly it took away my feelings, my inner self and my emotion away. If i keep on doing this eventually i will become like a puppet or even zombies. Just like what my friend said, we have turn into an empty shell. We both have the same problem, the same situation but different past. Although she's older than me but we both happen to face the same thing. How pathetic can we be? Even now, we console each other through SMS since we're both unreachable. Though we rarely send any msg nor call each other we have the greatest bond that still keeps us around. Thats why with her, i have no secrets. No matter how horrible i am, she took me they way i am. Thats the bond between me and her. We treasure it and keep it safe.

Daisy, when that time arrives what would happen to me? To the one i care about? The one i love? No matter how many plans i have, i still don't know what did the future or fate bring to me. I can't believe i keep on asking the same question over and over again. Until then Daisy.