Be My Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I wonder how many things i have given up for now. I seems to be doing that a lot. Although i am known for my stubborn nature and endless try out but somehow lately i just realize there are certain things that i have truly give up. I'm surprised at it myself since i am not that type of person but the truth can really make you speechless at times like this. I wonder why i didn't realize it long ago and i wonder why i decided to give up. This is never a good news nor it's something that i'm proud of. I'm scared Daisy, i'm scared i lost the warmth places in my heart. If i lose all that, i terrified myself at the thought of me being in the same category with people who love to shed blood and let lust and power overwhelm them. I don't want to be that person and now it just scares me. I'm scared of myself and i really do need help. Like any other people who desperately needed help, even my friends rejected me at times like this. I can't even dwell for my heartbreaking moment or talk to my friend about it. Nor my family. Day by day, it's just getting heavier. That's probably the reason why i look like i have given up on it. I'm busy mending my heart every day and busy meddling myself with other people's matter. I forgot that i need to look after myself. I'm probably too eager to be mature and grow up. That's not how it goes. My heart is in pain knowing i give up when i don't want to. I still want to fix things. I still do even if it hurts. This heart of mine, i wish it has a bigger space for me to sort everything out. Feeling gloomy.

Daisy, i forgot. I forgot to be strong. Forgot to tell myself to smile. Nowadays, it feels more like torture and it really hurts. Since i don't want to drown other people into this drunken in emotion of mine, i'll share a song that i have been listening since last night and it really fits my mood. I haven't had the time to analyse the meaning behind this song but according to my sister it's about commit suicide something like that. But i'll just let you listen to this song and no, i am not going to commit suicide. As tough and hard life gets onto me, I DEFINITELY WON'T COMMIT SUICIDE. It's like an easy way out. I don't want that. I never take short cut. I take the hard way. Anyway, enjoy by 10cm Han River Farewell. (It's a korean song. I'm international type of person. I listen to any song as long as it has meaningful lyrics. Until then Daisy