Sunday, June 3, 2012

Be My Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Yes, it has been a while since my last incident. Some things happen when you least expected and it gives you either fear or the happiest moment in your life. Well for me, after all that i happen to be in a state of trauma with every little sound that i can hear. But most probably the sound of clinking between steels happen to freak me out or even strangers passing by in front of my parent's house. I happen to be shaking. Still i don't want this fear to control me to the point it drives me insane. So i have been struggling to stop myself from shivering and all that. And that is probably the reason why i have been in a long hiatus. Not that i never thought of anyone who's reading this but i just don't want to be trapped in the same time again. Every night i would still remember how the whole thing happen. As if it was just yesterday and that's why i can't help but fight it by myself. It does feel terrible being alone in that state. So far, no one had hugged me or whatsoever. Thus, my conclusion stays the same. I need to get married either way. 
 Somehow, marriage turns out to be the only conclusion since we can never be alone no matter what. In the past, during my not so bright time i would have prefer being alone but now, after everything that i have gone through i wouldn't allow what i have been seeing by far stopping me from getting married. I think i learn one thing from all that. If there are things in marriage can be avoided, then avoid it. But if there are certain things that can not be avoid at all then face it with honesty and tolerance. Isn't marriage is also about accepting? I would have said it this way "I'll be your shield through your weakness and you'll be my strength in my own lacking". Well, that's how i see marriage. That bond, that ring is everything in the world that would be the starts of the new chapter.

After a long time i have not been updating anything, i'm babbling about married and such. I think i need to take a break for now. Well to be honest, my gastric seems to be bothering me right now. So, i got to go and have my rest. Until then Daisy.

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