What is up? Bwahahahaha. Somehow that sounds funny. Anyway, it's rare of me updating my blog this fast. You know how i can be. Probably there's something interesting going on and i intended to share with the readers of Daisy. May i call all of you guys Daisy? I have done that for the last past posts without asking permission so why did i bother to ask now? Pfftt. Really, when my head start to get crazy it's kind of hard for me to get straight to the point. I just love the sound of the keyboard now. Is that what you call it? I can't seem to recall it a bit.
Enough of the chattering which can be endless now that my heart and mind is broken at the same time. I'm trying my hardest to keep up my cool and keep up my heart which shattered last night. Not that i want to but i did expect it to be shattering the moment i found out my suspicion turn to be the truth. I really need to move on. If not, I'll probably be stuck here forever. Remember when i told you about 'R' in my previous post? I did tell a little bit about him although in a bad way or should i say i told you i end my relationship with him and never to contact him again. (Wait, maybe i call him something else in my last post. I can't seem to remember.) Anyway, after that post i still do contact him although not often. (He's my ex-boyfriend. The one i end in good term but still have feelings for him). So, i try to treat him as my friend but whenever i text him i can't help but having that feelings to grow more and more. I realize the situation and before it gets worse, i stop messaging him. After like somewhat couple of months after, i texted him again. And then the same danger occurs. It goes on for a year. But this month, i felt like something is off and i had a feeling he already found his new love. I didn't want to ask him because i already warn him to tell me himself. Suddenly i jump my story here. Before that, we both had a promise. He told me to wait for him 5 years which seem like too much but i said i will wait(with little hope, since i know him well enough) and he promise me and so on. Some typical thing to do. So, yeah, i had this feeling he already found someone and last night he told me the truth. He told me he found his new love and his heart is being filled with love again (that last sentence i exaggerate a bit). I guess the moment i had that feeling, i have been preparing myself. Although i was prepared for that but whenever i'm reminded of his promises, i'm pissed off. At first i replied to him by saying congratulation and so on(when i wasn't thinking about the promise) and then i send him another message telling about the broken promise and scold him big time to my satisfaction(when i thought of his broken promises). But all in all i still wish him all happiness that he want. Now that i know, i don't want to see him again. The end of my third unsuccessful relationship. I wonder if he will get married after this? Whatever.
So, that's the whole story. I think. Without any hidden or twisted meaning. I have send my last farewell and now i'm going to move on. Head for apartment, piano and a good job. That is all in my head right now. Sounds like a very broken hearted person am i? Truthfully, i did feel hurt hearing his happiness and so on but he's not meant for me so why do i have to force myself on that? About marriage thing, like i told you and ambitioned i let my family decide for me. Now, i'm just heading for the three things that i just mention. Until then my Daisy.
P/S : This heart will always be strong no matter how hard i fall.
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