Monday, February 7, 2011

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

This could not be happening. I wish it was a dream but if it was a dream then it will be the nightmare of all.
 I just heard the news from my mom. They got into accident again. But this time my sister was driving the car and it was not her fault. It was the A car's fault and then ram onto car B and car B crash into my dad's car. I don't really know the detail but i do know one thing, this is one of the reason why i still have fear in driving a car. No matter how careful i can be but how about other people behind the wheel? They're rushing like mad and curse along with the car but then when it comes to accident like this they sure know how to create some impossible story. That type of person i have a name for them. They're called 'the damn-bloody-rich-lots'. Although they're not that rich but they sure have lots of money to repair all the damage or maybe they sure know how to spin the wheel around. Freak!!! Lots of them. Ugh. I'm getting emotional about this. Anyway, they're all safe. My two sisters and my mom. My dad stayed at home. From what i've heard so far, they were at the police station. Probably to settle the matter or something. My dad must be flabbergasted because it was his dream car. He sold off the other car and got himself his dream car. And his retire life is full of paying debts everywhere. Hold on, why am i badmouthing my dad all of the sudden? Bug it.

That's not the whole story. I don't know why i'm being so calm about this. Darn it D, show some feeling will you? I didn't mean to be heartless or whatsoever but in my entire life i have break the boundaries that my parent created for me when i was small. People says to expect the unexpected so i have come to understand that and probably the reason why i have a lot worries in me and my inferior head keep giving puzzle one by one asking me to solve all that. So, you could say i'm prepared to expect the unexpected. Not that prepare cause they're still some more i haven't sort out. Like wise, due to this puzzle that my inferior head has given me i have become calm. I'm surprise why i'm like this. I care about them the most and so scared when this happen. But when it comes to this, i don't know why i'm calm. Probably because i know they're safe and this is not the worst of all and certainly they're still alive. Thank goodness no one got hurt. Alhamdullilah.

Talking about this accident, reminds me about the accident that we encounter few years ago. We were on the way to Sri Aman. We were from Limbang at that time and just a couple more miles to enter Bintulu, we found ourselves in a big,,, ermmmm,,, what do you call it. I wouldn't call it a drain or any sorts because it was nothing like a drain. Let's just assume it was but a very big one and will be flooded when rain continues pouring. Thankfully that day the water was just below the knee and we found ourselves in that watery mud. I passed out for a couple of minutes. The impact cause my seats to turn over with me on it. Then the bags and boxes all fall on top of me. My sister cracked her lips and my mom and dad were calling out my name countless times because i didn't respond fast enough. I passed out for a couple of minutes and the moment i open my eye i heard my name and such. It was freaking self accident. My dad was sleepy and he was not suppose to be driving anymore. But because no one can bring us to Sri Aman, he had to do so. That is when i start being so aware to the surrounding around me whenever i got into a car. I can't sleep like i used to do. I'm haunted with all this and this is the biggest reason why i can't get on the wheel nor drive although i'm dying to do so.

Anyhow, we just have to accept our luck, fate and such. Come to think of it, it's my mom's birthday tomorrow. I wonder if she accept the wishes when everything is still clear as water in her head. But, i'll just keep on wishing and be there for her. Until then Daisy.

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