Sunday, February 6, 2011

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Finally i'm back. Although i'm still angry because they force me to go with them but i'm more upset because they behave like that. I don't like it when this is what i get for putting up against them. I really don't. Pardon me for wanting to be treat fairly but i just want to let them know that i also do have what you call it a feeling. I can't help it can i? Ugh. I shouldn't have let it show. It was not a big deal but i'm dead tired. Don't know why and i'm trying to save up my money and my own head. Sometimes i need to use my head and that is rather tiring. So, do give me a break. I really need my sleep and a bit of peace. Owh, darn it. I shouldn't be complaining. I try so hard not to but i am just a mere human. I'm whining here and there. Gosh, i should stop doing that.
But no matter how hard i try to persuade my own stubborn to the bone heart, it seems like this time i'm unable to make myself smile. I'm still upset and the one who's paying for my temper would be my sister and my mother. I know i'm being a disrespectful daughter for saying out loud (i'm not proud of it) but my inner side seem to burst out. They finally got a taste of my wrath. My mom call and i didn't bother to pick up the phone. I silent my handphone the whole time and when she call my sister and my sister pass it to me, there's no laughing or the happiness that i want to share. My sister's case, i put on my headphone and let she shouts her lungs out calling out my name and such. I could have said something but i know when i do open my mouth and said something, tears are more faster than my own words. In the end, they could only hear my sobbing. So, no point at all. I know, cause i've tried that. Unless they are willing to wait for my tears to stop, then be my guest. If it does stop.

There's not much i want to talk about the village since i've talked about it before in my previous post. It has been months i think. The last time i went there it's cold because it rain most of the time and when i got there once again, it was damn hot. Damn hot to the point i could hardly breathe. I have a problem in that. Cause when a certain place gets too hot, it suffocates me and i'll have trouble with breathing. Sometimes i need to use my imagination to get my breathing back to normal but other times especially when i'm upset or pissed off, i'll have to clear my head at first then do the imagination stuff. But night seem fine for me because it's cold. Now, i'm glad i'm back here. I can finally breathe normally. 

Now, that i'm back. Maybe you'll be seeing me just everywhere. Just keep on praying. Until then Daisy

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