Monday, December 13, 2010

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

You can curse me all you want for disappearing and for my lack of enthusiasm to update with any news. Yes, i do have plenty of news. Plenty of things happen and i'm sorry for keeping you in the dark. Sorry for yesterday. I told you before that i need to share the broadband with my sister. So, last night was her night and i end up playing Need For Speed. It's an old version and i hurt my hand while playing with it last night. It has been a while. I'll tell you in a bit why i stop playing with it so suddenly and the reason why i stopped doing what i love to do or just stop liking what i always liked. I have some news for you. You might not like it or the opposite. I do and i'm prepare to do what i'm capable of doing. Keep reading if you care.
 Daisy, sorry for the tease. I know you care. Well, i'm going to my sister's place in two more weeks. I think. Is it two weeks? I'm not sure. No, i won't tell you what date but it is confirm that i'm going. I won't be able to see my friends for a long time. I don't know when will i come back but at least this time i'm leaving with ease. Although i do have my worries but i'm going because i want to give my mom something. Something beside happiness. I want her to have it cause she deserve it. No matter where i go, i'm going because of my mom.  In the end, i always wanted to buy something for my family. Don't bother. I can't help the way i am. Somehow, i'm speechless when i see people around me can be so selfish and cruel to their parents. Even though i do terrible things and much bigger sins but i'm flabbergasted when i see my friends or everyone around me to be rude to their parent. I do wish to slap that smug on their face and let them hate me for it but they should know this whole thing. Even the slightest thing that they thought was small, it's a big matter to the parent. I know and although i don't understand 100% but i can never hurt my parent if i know they will be displease by it. I'm really surprise at times how they act so rude to their parent. I hate that kind of people. They're the worst. Why did i start talking about this? Anyway, Daisy i am going for the sake of my mother and my sister. I told you before, i'm going because i'm needed. I'll be coming back but not for a month or two.

A lot of things happen. Yesterday i went to The Spring with my sister. We were suppose to be there today but a change of plan. My mom was not convinced that my dad will be able to send us to The Spring today. Thankfully i took her advice and went there yesterday. Cause if i were to be mule-headed about it, we end up staying inside the house for the whole day because my dad gone down with fever. Yesterday, we didn't watch any movie. I insist upon it. I have my reasons. If i state it here i'll be doomed. This blog may be closed because of it, so i better not say anything. No matter how outspoken i am, i believe i should shut my mouth when it is going to make the headline. Anyway, we went for shopping. It's what girls do best but it doesn't agree with me i guess. Well, you know what i said about buying myself a lamp desk i end up changing my mind. The lamp desk was damn expensive and i did see the less expensive one but the colour was either orange and red. Those two colours only and seriously, i cannot put that colour in my room. No way. No freaking way. My eye can't stand it. So i change my mind and try to find a nice cloth for myself. I took my sister round and round where she end up having what she want and i'm still searching for what i want. Actually, i found it and it was freaking expensive. RM92.90.  Yes, it is freaking expensive for me and i don't like buying cloth, shirt that cost that much. If it was jeans i don't care but for it be be costing that much, it made me feel sick just thinking how i'll be spending the money only that. So i change my head again and go for the new bedsheets and seriously it is not a good idea. Why is it the things that i chose or want cost me a lot of money. When did things start to get so damn expensive? In the end the only thing that i buy is handbags and McD. That is the only thing i'm good at.

I did say that i'll tell you more about my reason on me quitting whatever i like. Well, the reason is simple. One of my dream got crush and that is why i don't want to have any attachment to anything. The only person who can revive that is me alone. I'm the one that shut my heart and i'm the one who will be doing the whole thing. For the time being, i'm keeping it close and prefer it that way. Although some might sneak in but i'll just keep it away. Yes, the reason is all because of the previous relationship that i had. So, that is why i don't want to be bother of having another. I told you the reasons and everything. Well, almost everything. But i hope you'll be satisfied. Until then Daisy

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