Friday, December 10, 2010

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Yes, i've been everywhere. Not really. Just around the house. Walking here and there. That means i'm bored. Bored too death. I purposely waking up late so i don't have to count every minute or every second of time pass by. I don't know what exactly that i'm supposed to do. I believe i'm at my wits end just because of all this. My handphone only work when i feel like messaging and the laptop can't even entertain me anymore. I can't sing because my mom said its noisy and i can't dance without the feeling of wanting to sing. Everything is limited. I almost feel like my muscles has been lazing off. Each time i run, i'll sprained bits of my freaking bone. I'm getting old. I don't know how old. Anyway, the real thing is i want to do some baking but i can't since the oven is being put away because of the renovation still going on. The smell of coffee early in the morning and on the evening is killing me. I don't know why but whenever i smell it i tend to feel sleepy. Actually i trained myself to sleep so i won't feel any banging headache that i have to suffer everytime someone drinks coffee. That's the same with people who smoke. Sometimes i have to glare at people so they stop puffing their smoke in front of me. I tend to do that without realizing i'm giving the evil part of me. I'm bored Daisy.


It seems i'll be having a blast with my sister next week. We'll be watching movie and just hang out. I'm still thinking whether i should buy her starbuck. One of my friend says it's not 'halal'. So, i told her and as usual kids nowadays they want proof and such. Since i can't tell or give her any proof, she insists me buying it and she keeps taunting me with all the picture and whatever she's capable of doing. Someone, please tell me. Really, tell me what should i do or just give me anything that can proof it is not 'halal'. I wonder why she doesn't trust it. I'm going insane here. But i hope i won't be buying her that. Enough is enough. Although i did have it last time. That is the first and the last that i ever had. It was damn expensive and doesn't worth it. I better make my own drink. No, i didn't drink coffee. I only had chocolate thing. Forgot the name. That was years ago before i know the thing is not halal. But seriously, why anyone would buy it? It's freaking expensive and i don't get any tingling feeling that i thought i would. Only those who understand the art of coffee would know it. For this time, i don't understand at all and i hope i never will. Too hard for me to handle.

Anyway Daisy, i've been thinking for a long time. Should i buy the shoe or my lamp desk first? Tonight, i can't resist it any longer. I'm going for the shoe. Since i'll be leaving the house next year, so i'm buying it for my convenience. One day i'll buy the lamp desk. I don't know when but that one day will come. I feel like i'm missing a lot of things. I want to buy a lot of things. I need shoes, lamp desk and bit money for my trip. My friend just told me all about the trip. I wish she could have told me sooner so i can cancel my plan on buying the freaking shoe. But i need the shoe. I need to meet my friend also. It has been a while i haven't hang out with them. I know there's SMS and such but it can't compare to the moment when we see each other. To laugh again. Just by bringing back the memories. I feel like having all sorts of burden. I know it is just a simple matter and trivial to your eye but i feel like not having another opportunity like this again. So, i'm in a dilemma. Although i reassure myself not to be bothered about the lamp desk but i'm scared i won't be able to do any writing when i'm in KL. I'll be busy working my head off with things that i found new or similar to what i'm doing now. This is the time when i wish i have someone special by my side to tell me what exactly i should do. For me, everything that i stated here is important. I don't care how people see it but for someone like me i can't seem to ignore over this trivial matter. The shoe, the lamp desk and of course my friends are important to me. I don't put my friends in the same rank with things but it has been a while i did something for myself. Daisy, can you send me someone to pretend that you are my special one?

I have a lot of thinking. I want to tell you all but i'll save it for later. My mind is a bit unstable for now. I can't continue to do my work nor my story. I need an answer and i really do need someone right now. Someone special. Until then Daisy 

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