Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

When will it ever end? I know, it's not my business but this is family matters. When is it finally going to end? I shouldn't have bother but it is bothering me. Everyday i face the same question, problem and situation. This is really killing. I wish she listen and stop being too freaking smart about it. Probably she thought no one did care about her and such but everyone cares. If they don't care, they won't be nagging and whatever it is they are good in doing as a parent. I feel exhausted whenever this whole thing occur. What am i suppose to do? I live in a negative atmosphere almost everyday. Someone, please just leave me alone. If i try to patch things up will it ever work? Do they want me to be the third person in this? Is it the month or the gloomy day itself has making things worse, i don't know. When will this whole thing end? Unfair? Yes i do think everything that happen around me is unfair. I am not a taxi nor i wanted to be one. But what choice do i have. While my sister gets what they want most of the time, i have to work triple as hard to make them actually notice or hear me out. They listen, i know they do since they gave me promises and such but up until now which promises is it that they finally grant? Why is it? I'm start questioning everything and i'm afraid this will lead me to nowhere. I'm so scared that i would be lost if i start questioning my own action, my believes, their words and just everything.

Daisy, the freaking and unpleasant memory taunts me again. How am i suppose to mend my own heart if this keeps coming up? Who says that i don't want them to listen? I do but do they really have to compare to what they had before? Do they really have to say that i don't deserve to feel frustrated, pain and hurt? Do they really have to say that my pain is not the same with them? Do they? Then what am i suppose to feel? How can i possibly cry again Daisy? The only time that i know how to free my own tears when i cut out the onions. But when i am actually sad? How am i suppose to express myself? I really don't know Daisy. I really don't. My others sisters get whatever they want so easily but why is it when i need something i have 10 rules ahead of me? I really do wonder if this whole thing will kill me some day. 

Daisy, tell me what went wrong. I obeyed my parent for their sake. Because they are my parent. I obeyed them because that is what my religion taught me. I obeyed them because it is my responsibility as a daughter. The last time i mess up was few years ago and i dare to do almost anything but look at me now. I'm being caged up without letting me go not once. This whole thing hurt me. I'm really scared that i will let my bad side controls me. Now, i'm questioning almost everything. Next time, i don't know what will happen. My heart is not strong enough. Allah, please save me from all this. Talking about this, makes my heart ache even more. Whatever you want to call me after reading this, i don't care anymore. Another hurtful remark from you guys doesn't seem to give any effect anymore. One at a time, i can feel myself being taken away. Until then Daisy