Friday, November 19, 2010

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

No, i'm not being cruel or inconsiderate. Will you listen to my explanation before accusing me? Yes, i know i'm couple days late and i realize that. Daisy, i have a heart and although i want to be an inconsiderate person, my heart will tell me otherwise. It is not in my nature Daisy. Believe me. Would you believe me? The reason i didn't wish anyone 'Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha aka Hari Raya Korban' because my credit expires on the day before and it feels like hell. That is another reason why i didn't invite any of my friends to come over and celebrate. I know i could have reload via online but i don't have the time to do so. I was busy in the morning and after finish what was suppose to be done i crash myself to resume my sleep. Lack of sleep you may call that. On the day of the celebration, as usual i'll wake up early as i can be and help my mom at the same time waiting for my favourite dish to be fully cook. I know i shouldn't have said this but my mom cook 'Rojak Tambi' on my request. I'm soooooo happy. Do you know how long i wait for it? It has been nearly 5 years or something. I can't remember. But i think it's 5 years. That is how long i wait for the rojak. Now, i'm happy and i could die of happiness. Nothing can ever make my life dull after that. Despite that, to all my friends, please forgive for not replying your text, your wishes or even invite you guys and have a taste of my mom's food. You might understand why i gain weight in such a short time. I should have shoot myself for having my credit died upon me on the very crucial day. Would you forgive me? Forgiveness is a good deed.

Congratulation to a friend of mine for finally found her own romance relationship. Wait. I'm putting impossible thought on other people's head. In my word, congratulation because she have found the love of her life, someone whom she trust, care and love. I'm really happy for her and i pray to Allah wishing you happiness and may your relationship last forever and ever. In ordinary and dull word, she got a boyfriend. Now that sound dull. It's like they're not celebrating it. Am i the only who knows how to use words here? Although i have a limited vocabulary but at least i don't make it dull and boring. I'm praising myself how sweet (okay, i think i'm going to puke). Anyway, congratulation to YOU and truthfully i'm really happy for you. Let's hang out together although it will be an awkward moment but don't mind me cause i'll do anything for my dear friend. Yes, i cherish my friend, care for them and would do anything to protect them but i won't meddle with their life or told them the unnecessary thing. Literally, i won't touch the part where they have to learn the mistake, the pain and anything what life may offer. Well, it's not like i'm letting them to make a mistake. If they do ask my opinion i'll tell them what it is but if they didn't ask i'll stay out. Although i'm not someone who hassle or keeping my nose around but i always think of them. Once again, congratulation to you. You deserve the love. Trust me and trust your heart and believe in faith.

What a lovely news. Envy? Yup, i am feeling a little envy but i don't want to ruin my friend's happiness just because of that. I do want her to have that happiness. That's a good news right? It is and it deserve a celebration. I'm happy. Me? Nah, i don't have any good news. I'm still the same. In fact, a couple of hours ago i got rejected before i can confess. Again. Yup, with the same person. I'm not over with him after all. I think i lie a lot because i want to protect my heart for it was so fragile at that time. Now, since i already mend it and accept the things there are i have to admit i still love him. Yes, it will take some time to forget about him. And i wish i didn't have to be so diplomatic about keeping in touch with him. Between me and him, i guess we can't be friends after all since i still have feelings towards him. Hey Daisy, do you think by finding a replacement in a haste will make me forget about him? I don't dare to take the risk for i'm scared i'll hurt others. Besides that, i'm not that desperate in finding love although i dream about it every now and then. Love is a greatest gift from Allah and i won't bury it with hate. I do want to be love Daisy. Men. *sigh. They irritate me. Seriously what is wrong with their eyes? Besides that, mostly men that i know don't get my sense of humour and make fun of my words. I'm sorry for being a hopeless dreamer but i want a lasting romance, love and honesty. People who took serious in historical romance understood my meaning. Nowadays you don't see that type of love anymore. They only look for looks. Daisy, i'm going to be single for the rest of my life. That is sad but i'm fine like i always said. I have Allah and Allah will return back my love.

Yeay Daisy. It's my 100th babbling, muttering, complaining, sharing and shouting posts. Yeay!!! Let's have a toast to whoever wanting to have some. A toast to love, to romance, to age, to adventure, to celebration and to life for giving me bunch of happiness and i almost burst because of it. Sounds messy. I think i know where i learn to have my words spoken like a rake. Yes, i was influence by my favourite novel. How could i not fall head over ears/eyes while reading it. I know mostly in my historical romance that i read is all about handsome duke/earl/baron/laird and beautiful lady but mind you there are others where the heroine is just a plain jane. So i have to that i will find love of my own. Am i back to this love thing? I thought i'm done. Gosh. This love matter can always drive you nuts. Anyway, from the novel itself i learn my sense of humour is in another level from the man that i know. Fool. Lots of them. Thankfully there's someone gets my humour although she's my friend and we share the same interest. Although she's into knight in shining armour while i'm into Alec Kincaid. Anyway, Daisy Happy 100th Post. You must congratulate me for being so generous with a lot of stories although there's only three topics that i talk about. I guess i have you full of wonders and letting you open your eyes again. Daisy, next i'll be finding myself a husband and i'm going to do it because i want to move on with my life despite what my past has lead me. Wish me luck Daisy. Wish me the very best. Until then Daisy. You know i love you? Am i using my charm once again? Hehehe...

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