Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I notice that from my friend's blog she put up a picture of me,her and one of my friends. I bet you're guessing why i didn't make my own blog merrier with a piece of old photos of me and my friends. It's not that i don't have any friends. I do. Daisy, i am just not the type of person to show my thoughts to the world. I don't have of any intention of showing everything that i possess. To begin with, i am a possessive person and not someone who could easily show any affection on any occasion. I envy other people can show so much love toward the person that they love so much and unlike me, i can't do that kind of stuff. Even in my precious relationship with men. No, i am not cruel no matter how i'm itching to be one but it is not in my nature to force myself. Although everyday i fill my head with such a romantic and full of affection scene but i can't get myself to do any of the sorts. Truthfully, i hate this side of mine. I think it has something to do with my past and now all of the sudden i feel so lonely, my heart feel so heavy, while tears are threatening my own composure. Even towards my family i don't let them do anymore than just kissing my cheeks. I forbid them touching me and i even got mad easily when they took my warning lightly. My chest feel hurt. I can't talk about this anymore. No one understand my circumstances.

Daisy. what other to cry? This loneliness that i felt so suddenly, the emptiness made me so vulnerable. I don't plan on making myself miserable but somehow i know i'm missing what i wanted the most. That doesn't make sense. D, make yourself cheerful again. Okay, take a deep breathe and here we go. I did talk about the most sentimental thing didn't i? I nearly exposed myself to you again Daisy. I thought of keeping it a secret but since i remember someone said to me that i need to let it out somehow. You might don't know what i'm talking about anyway, so i guess it is still remain a secret. But for you Daisy, i don't think i'm unable to mask myself real well, right? As long as you know. I don't have any complaint. Yes, i'm fine now. I'm not going to dwell about it. Up and about and i'm smiling again. 

Let see, today i didn't go anywhere. My mom did ask me if i do want to go out with them and so on but at that time i was sleeping. They woke me up but if you know me well enough, i wouldn't give up my sleep for anything. Only on certain circumstances. I won't tell you what it is cause you'll be using it and that is my weakest point. Never tell people what is your strength and your weakness. I need my sleep cause i'm unable to sleep normally now. I keep on complaining this and i've been trying so hard to fix that but like i said it takes longer than i expected. I guess that's all Daisy. I got nothing to talk about. What would you want to know? It seems you know a lot more about me. Until then Daisy