Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I wonder why is it i always try to laugh so hard although it's not funny. I try so hard to be happy but at night i realize my happiness seems incomplete. I don't know what went wrong nor understand it but i wish even for one day i could actually grab onto the real happiness where i know it will belong to me alone. I wonder why in my head i always see happiness when i think about love. Having a relationship and etc but the thing is Daisy, i don't want to go through that. I told you i just want to be married. I don't want to go through the couple stage or so on. I don't like it and it doesn't last long. Daisy, i feel pathetic. I know i can have my own happiness but my parent don't approve my way of living. I what will happen if i do make such a big decision. I know it sounds like i'm running away again. But it's not the point. That is not what i want my parent to see. Do you think i'm up to it Daisy? 

Daisy, i'm thinking of moving out but i can't leave my mom alone. I thought that now that my sisters are married, they can take care of my parent while i'm gone. But it seems they are being selfish. I hate them for it. All they could see is money, love and freaking husband. Blinded by foolish things. I can be selfish and just leave the house but it won't lead to my happiness if i do follow my heart. I don't want to hurt my parent or shame them. It's just that i wish they let me breathe for a while. Let me out of this unseen cage. It may look like i'm free to do anything but that is not what it seems like. My heart keeps on asking, begging to go out but i can't. I'm worried Daisy. What should i do? Will i ever have my own happiness? Will i ever stop worrying? Daisy, i keep on asking myself this and i really don't know what i should do. Can i live alone and face the danger? Do you trust me Daisy?

Daisy, i've been whining about my happiness and it brought out the frown in my face. Whatever should i do Daisy?  Until then.