Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

My dad is going to KL tomorrow. So maybe a couple days of peace for me and my mom. Oh yeah, did i tell you that i make up with my mom already? We don't really discuss about it because if we do bring it up again neither of us would talk to each other again. And maybe for a long time. I don't know since when we started doing this but i already told her the reason i don't want to talk. I don't want to hurt people with my word. Probably the reason why she thought i can't take care of myself and easily bullied. I have to admit that is my nature. Ever since high school. Whenever i remember how i was bullied by other students while i was in high school it kind like pissed me off since i didn't defend myself. The only thoughts that i had at that time i still want to protect their feeling. I'm being an idiot right? Obviously their word hurt me deeply but i still consider what if i regret saying it, what if i humiliate them, what if i hurt them and what would their parents say. I kept thinking that and it was pretty stupid of me for protecting them. Anyway that is not why i'm here for.

A friend of mine lend me a hand to control the emotion and etc according the Islamic way using Al-Quran and Sunnah. I was thankful for the information and appreciate it so much. But the thing is, although i want to change i'm too embarrassed to go and join the course. I have issues of my own. Although i wanted to go but i just don't have the nerve. I'm too scared. The only thing that's on my head whenever i try to go places like that i have to be with my husband. That is the problem now. I don't have a husband or any relationship with men (which i don't want to bother about) and when things like this happen i really do need a husband so i can borrow some of his strength. Call me a dramatic or anything you want but i have my reason. When i said i only listen to the people that i chose i meant my husband and my family. When it comes to friends, i don't really bother to listen and although it bring good deeds for me but my head and my heart refuse to listen which i don't really know why. It's not like i put a rule on it but it just won't work. There's only 1 person that i listen among my friends. She's the only one who accept me the way i am and i am thankful for that and she knows how to deal with my temper and knows when is the right time to soothe me and make me listen. She only know me for 4 or 5 years and right now she knows how to deal with me. That's why i only listen to her, my parent and my husband (which i don't have yet). That is why I hope this friend of mine understand. I don't want to hurt his feeling. I just want to be honest. I'm glad you try to help me but lets just start slowly before you bring that topic again. 

Okay. I guess i have done enough confession already. I did told my mom about my plan to start the business and she approve. Thankfully she approve. Now, all i need to do right now is to make a perfect plan on selling the product. Curious what i'm selling? We'll have to wait until my confirmation. That means when the product is here. Tomorrow i want to go to The Spring. I want to buy novels. I'm craving for novels and i hope i can buy two novels at once. How i love my hobbies and this is one of them.

Anyway, that's all Daisy. I'll keep you up to date when i feel like it. Until then Daisy.