I can't sleep. Seems like i'm back into my old habit. Old habits die hard. Don't know if that kind of saying exist but i assume it does since it sound so right. I won't talk about happy things tonight since something just nearly made me cry. It's hard although i'm not really sure what's hard.
Here's the thing. I don't know if i'm being stubborn or my mom is a bit protective when it comes to me. I don't know which one is it and i don't know who's right and who's wrong in this matter. I always assume it's my parent because they know me better (well, sort of) so i always blame myself even though it doesn't feel right. But who am i? Just a daughter with wild side that have not been seen by many and some might call me angel though i don't deserve to be one. Now what i'm talking about. The thing is i asked my mom whether i could go to my friend's house and my sister will send me there while i give my friend a surprise visit. But then all that comes to vain when my mom would not allowed me to go there nor visit my friend. Her reason because it's night time and it's raining. The reason why i disagree with my mom because i think it's unfair. Why i think it's unfair? Her reason is not strong enough. I know it's night time but the one whose coming with me is my sisters and her boyfriend and it's not even late. Still 8 p.m and i consider it's not late because there are others who still go out to have their dinner. I'm disappointed. I've been asking her permission 2 weeks earlier. The plan was 2 weeks ago and i keep on changing the date because there's so many things to do during weekend but what i don't understand why she didn't let me go the first week. Her reason to that is because my soon to be brother-in-law are sending in the money for the wedding and etc. She doesn't need me at all since it was fasting month and they can't eat and whatsoever but why did she refuse to let me go to my friend's house when in the end, i end sleeping off my entire daylight. Can somebody reason me out of this nonsense? That's what got me so mad when she won't allow me to go to her house last night. I don't understand why she's trying to house arrest me and i don't know why is it so hard for me to do what i wanted to do. I nearly cry because of this but i refuse to do so because the wind is just right and i don't want it to spoil my special night.
Now, i have come to a conclusion. I won't ever ask to see or meet my friend anymore since it gives me this much of pain within me. To my dear friends, i'm sorry if i could only reply your message and meet on the facebook but since i have to deal with so many things, i decided to just shut my mouth. My mom can't see the reason and i can't see her reason as well. All i know it's unfair for me because my sister can easily meet her friends, even my younger sister can do the same so why can't i? Why does it have to be this hard? That was my first time asking but yet she told others that i asked more than that. I just don't understand and i don't want to understand anymore. All i know, that will be my last time of asking to meet my friend. To all my friends, sorry once again.
I'm still feeling heartbroken due to that incident. Right now, i'm starting my silent treatment toward my mom again. I'm not trying to be stubborn but i really just don't get a thing for now. Until then Daisy.
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