I'm quite hurt Daisy. I thought i have mended my heart well enough to the point that i thought that i'll be strong again. But then tonight proves my beliefs to be wrong. It really hurt. I'm tired of getting up again and end up falling this much again. I don't know where i can lean my head upon to. Even music itself just made my heart bleed even worse.
Daisy, i know you're curious why i got myself hurt again. To tell you the truth, i didn't see it coming at all. After what i have done and struggle throughout all of this, i didn't expect this coming. Although i always have but my hopes upon them never really dies. It is between me and my mom again. I guess people will think i'm a bad daughter to be complaining about my own mother in this blog but i really don't know where to turn to. I can't trust my friend to handle this such a big matter for me. I really do need someone shoulder to lean and cry to. This is really killing me. My own mother give me the same pain over and over again. It's still the same. The reason for this pain is still the same i guess. I'm just a blacksheep of the family. She didn't see me because of me cause she always compares me to my sisters. I wish she give me the same chance that she gave to my other sisters. This is really painful. Daisy, i'm so sad. I want to cry but i can't. I wonder why i always pretend to be strong even though i'm not. I really don't know how i'm suppose to go after this.
Daisy, no matter how hard i try to impress them, how hard i earn the money, i still can't get her attention right? I always tell myself to never lose hope on my family but this is really hurting me. Tell me Daisy. Tell me what to do. Why do i keep faking myself. Why i can't cry and why do i need to be strong? It's painful and i want to go away. Daisy, please help me... Just please,,,,
Until then
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