Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I have some time off this week. I think probably because i finish what i was told to do last week. Right now i'm just waiting for the replies from the company that i have been struggling upon. Life is sure worth it. I guess you could really tell that i'm happy right now. You want to know why? Of course it's about money. I don't have anything else inside my head except for money. I gave up putting hopes on finding husband and etc then focus on the things that i wanted to do, especially you Daisy. I received my payment today. Actually i did receive it before but it was vanished the moment i give it to my mom and my sister. I like it when they're happy. Maybe it was the real reason why i had money upon my eye. I want to do something for my mom and my dad. Even though my sisters have their own way of handling it and keep telling me how to save it and so on, i too, have my own way on doing things. Although i might not show it right now, sooner or later i still manage to go through it. 

I'm happy giving money to my mom and secretly give it to my dad. I know it's a little late but for me i just want to be a good daughter. I still have my dreams and my eye doing my kind of business. No matter how far i have gone through and the path that i'm taking keeps making me going further than my dream but i know i always come back to the place that kept me moving to the next stage. So yeah, this is my time. My time to show to my sisters how things should be done. I'm not boasting but i want them to see what they don't see earlier. So, please my dear sister, please don't be hurt and think positively about the things that i'm doing. Please remember i only do this for our family especially our parent. I wish they understood that. I know i'm not saying anything, probably i don't want to hurt anyone nor make a scar somewhere in my heart. This good deeds, i don't want it to be tainted with silent treatment that i ought to give to them if they criticize or make fun of it. I just want them to see what they missed out in life.

I know i think of them as immature sister but somehow i just want to remind them not to look down upon me just because i never fight back everytime we quarrel. I tend to cry but that does not mean i am weak. I just don't want to hurt anyone. But somehow, when things get hard i tend to hurt others without me realizing it. The moment i realize it, i don't know how to apologize for i am too ashamed to do so. I really hope my sisters understand all this. 

Daisy, it has been fun getting to you again. I don't know about you though but i hope you feel the same. I'm happy right now but it doesn't mean my problem is solved. For now, i need to decide if i want to keep on working or follow my parent go back to Kuching. I'm still thinking. I miss Kuching for now especially my cat. If i stay, i'll be having a fight with my sister because it will be a tense environment. Despite all that, i can get and collect money. I don't really like living in  a tense atmosphere. It made me think of running away. So, i don't want to do that kind of thing and make myself famous because of that. I had to stop myself many times because i always think of my parent but i don't know what will happen if i can't persuade myself anymore. I'm scared one day i'll be a monster. Daisy, what would you choose? What do you think? I'm still thinking about it.

I guess that's all for now. Tell me if you have any answer to that Daisy. Maybe i'll tell you the answer if you still haven't had a solution for me. You know how my head works. Until then Daisy.