Friday, June 11, 2010

Letter to Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I had a terrible day. At first it started with a good and bright day but then because of the news that i got from my sister, i become very moody and kept to silence. I think that's the first time i ever show my ugly side to her and that is the very first time i did it to her. I don't care anymore. You might want to call me childish for going all moody for such a simple reason but my patience has run thin. I might not show when i'm mad but if you really want to see it,try me and be aware of yourself.

The very news that made me explode and annoyed is when my sister announce that i have to come with her to her husband country side. It is not like i don't want to go because it's a village and so on. No, it's not about that. In fact i don't care at all. The one thing that concerns me the awkwardness. The me, who's not being comfortable in all sort. The me, who need some time alone instead of faking a smile and all. I'm in pain here. Even when i'm with my sister i still have the awkward moment and it really stress me out. Now, i have to deal with another moment. It tortures me and why she just can't leave me alone. Afraid that i will get robbed and so on? If it is written in Allah's will then wherever i am, i am still going to get robbed. I'm determine to stick onto my decision. I don't care what they thought of me. I don't care how many people i hurt, right now i need to mend my own heart. I refuse to cry or shout but i will be very stubborn. I'm hurt too and i want them to understand and see that. I guess it's time for me to go away.

Daisy, it's scarier when leaving me to silence for my brain works like a computer. It made me look like a monster and it made me refuse to listen to any advise. I just don't care anymore. It's time for me to go and i'm going. If something were to stop, it will be other problems for me to solve. Yes, i can be cruel and when i'm in this state i never looked back anymore.

Until then Daisy

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