Lady Daisy

Dear Daisy,

 

In my recent post on Facebook, i didn't know that most of my post talks about something depressing. I didn't know what my heart really felt until i wrote it down. Nor that i notice i could no longer tell them to be happy. My friends to whom i care, i didn't know i would scare you. With my words and my heart, i thought i have move on. Probably this was the only way for me to move on and fall into despair. Probably. Until then Daisy.

Lady Daisy

Dear Daisy,

 

It's kind of painful at the moment. Probably it's the rain. But my chest just feel hurt. The loneliness that i'm feeling, inhope it won't turn into envy. I do not want to envy their happiness but being 26 and still single, is not fun at all. I receive invitation to my friends wedding. All i could do is stare at it while asking myself when will i ever find him. The one who i belong to. I know i'm not trying hard enough. I just don't know where to find. My heart always lead me to certain places. A certain day, month when i know he's close my heart will lead me to him. But as i turn my head, i don't know where is he. Constantly, he would remind me when i decided not to pursue anymore but there he was in my dream and it lingers the next morning. I know i sound crazy telling you this but that's what i've been feeling. It confuse me but i want to believe it to be true. Hopeless romantic. But i know he's out there. We just can't find each other. Until then Daisy. 

Lady Daisy

Dear Daisy,

 

I feel kind of lonely nowadays. My sister got married and my little sister have her own thing but here I am just daydreaming most of the time or drown myself with books. No, I'm not nerd or anything. But you can say I'm a bookworm. That's not what I want to talk about anyway. I'm trying to adapt with this new situation.

Lady Daisy

Dear Daisy,

 

I know it has been so long I haven't updated my blog. I have no particular reasons of doing it but let's just say my laptop broke. Now I have a new laptop and I think things will be rolling with more stories and ridiculous thoughts from me. Right now I don't have much except that my sister is married already and now it's finally my turn. A problem though cause I'm still SINGLE!!! Seriously, anyone wants to date a fat and chubby me, do let me know. Until then my precious.

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I'm glad i have friends who have this gift to talk about certain things and everything that a friend of mine talk about really touched my heart. I like how a friend of mine write their heart out. The complaints, the nagging and the dissatisfaction sound so soft whenever i read it. Usually i don't like it when people complaint too much or shout out their dissatisfaction. But with this friend of mine, i am somewhat drawn into the entry. You must be wondering why i'm not even giving out any hint whether it's him or her. No, i don't want to do that. It spoils all the fun. The entry that i thought was no longer there finally been updated. This time it talk about what i had in mind. What have been bothering me when i see everywhere around me are  decorated with buildings and the youth nowadays have been pampered to the point they could hardly be thankful with what they have now. The old generation can only sigh while the youth become the king of the world. Where's the shame, where's the religion and where's the manner? They forgot the most important thing and now everyone is busy digging for short cut in life. The old saying 'No short cut in success' has no longer been heard anymore since what i have witness enough to pain this art heart of mine. My entry this time is just a continuation of what a friend of mine wrote. The only different is a friend of mine wrote it in our mother tongue language while as usual i can never write anything better with my own mother tongue's language. I'm pretty bad at it. I am one of those example who seem to be leaving the past. The country feeling is not there anymore. I have no one  but myself to be blame since i'm nuisance about this thing in the past. But now, i'm starting to missed people wearing big t-shirts, songs that gives you new lesson and old folks who would tell you story that you will never hear again. Their old saying and just everything about them. It's nostalgic. Now, its been tainted by gadgets, development, fashion and just everything. It used to be so green now it's just dirty. Innocent no longer exist. Words are no longer pure. We are no longer talking. This heart can only sigh. This heart can only cry. We are just dying. Until then Daisy.

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I guess war can't be prevented any longer.

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I'm hiring a boyfriend!!!

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

26/02/2013

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I feel like in a misery land. Seriously i need to get a boyfriend. I've been saying that over and over again. It  must be the pressure that i've been feeling ever since i learn that my friend also found their special one. Although she keep on denying but i know she really want it to work out. I'm happy for her of course but at the same time, i'm starting to think about my own future. What will happen to me. My head thinks faster than what i show. Now, i will be lonely. I don't that to happen. Help me....

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I'm in love with Leessang's music. I love all of their album. Suddenly talking about Leessang. But here's a brief info about Leessang. I've got to know about this hip hop duo because nowadays i'm into Running Man which is a variety program in Korea. Last time i was so immersed with 2 Days 1 Night. But ever since they change members, i don't feel like watching it anymore. Plus i'm already attracted to Running Man since i found it more thrilling. I first watch it 3 years ago at my sister's house in Shah Alam. That time i was babysitting my nephew. So, i had my moment of free time with the Astro thing on and i happen tp cross this channel showing Running Man. At first i don't know what is it but i found it so exciting and it just caught my eye then and now. Among the Running Man members (there are 7 of them) Gary from Leessang caught my eye. It's because of his unique character. It's like he's mysterious and at the same time i had this feeling that he have a lot more than what he shows on Running Man. I don't know how to explain it. But i'm not going to touch more onto the variety program that he's on. I'm more interested in their music. Their song.  I found it so addictive. Their lyrics really touched my heart. I really like their music. It's a heart to heart talk. That's why i found it so attractive. I never get bored listening to it. Besides Big Bang, this is the second group that i like. More like the first hip hop duo that i've ever like. It's surprise me. How the both of them can produce this type of song despite their goofy image. When they're on the variety program they look so goofy, so out of place but when they do music they just look dead gorgeous and so cool. So mysterious. There are thousand of words i want to describe them in spite of my lack in vocabulary. The limited edition type. Ngiahahahahaha. Now, i'm listening to their song. I love all of it. Hope to hear more of their song in future.

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Guess what??? No, it's not about my blogshop. It might be a complete failure. Ugh!!! I don't want to know about it but i'm not going to give up. Ngiahahahahahaha..Anyway, my mom suddenly support me writing a novel. That does sound interesting and i have been working on a novel. Currently, i'm trying to finish the novels that i'm working on. Although i've been working on it since last year. Don't ask me why it took me forever to finish it. Cause i'll answer you right. I've been delaying it while finding a better way to interpret the whole story. I want it to be perfect well, almost to perfect at least. And i really wanted to finish this novel that i'm working on. And i might even think about publishing it. Right now, most of my books are all filled with poems and i'm thinking to publish it as well but i don't know if it will work out. It's in English and my poems is not that typical literature. It was just me and my heart. So i wrote whatever it is inside my heart. I wonder if it will work out. Do you know where i can publish my poem? In fact, i want to show them to the people who know about this better and give advice or just anything so i could improve on it. And i actually want to try changing my poem to lyric and let people give the melody and sing it. It would be nice that way. Anyone could help me?

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I really need to date someone. Anyone can help me with that? I wish whoever reading this would suggest some crazy stuff but no, i don't mean a one night stand. I mean a date. Like dinner or lunch or have me meet someone new. And i hope i meet the right person. Yes, i do mean someone who wants to get married. Help me!!! I must have gone mad. Not due to loneliness but because my sister is busy making the preparation for her wedding and it's driving me nuts. It's like telling me get someone cause you're next. I wish i could just do it in a blink of an eye. As fast as that and just be done with it. Oh Daisy, i am forever feeling miserable whenever i have to talk about my love life. Sometimes being single is not so fun at all. Until then my Daisy.

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

It's been a while. After quite a hiatus. But i can assure you nothing happen yet. Nothing exciting in my life. But in my sister's life it could mean another thing. They just decided upon a date. My sister is going to get married end of this year. Maybe. I'm not sure either. The date that i meant is their engagement date. But the wedding date is still in talk right now. Yay!!! Happy for them but bad news for me. Now i have to suffer all kinds of thing. And what's more annoying, i don't have any boyfriend. I told my mom can i just skip the couple stage and just get married? She ignore my whatever it is you may call it. I feel like i want to go to Scotland for husband hunting. Ngiahahahaha. But seriously, i'm in love with them. Probably it's because of the historical romance novels that i read. And among the dukes, earl and whatever it is, i found laird is the coolest of all. The only reason i don't see someone good looking or even like them is because my heart sets on loving someone like Alec Kincaid in the novel called The Wedding by Julie Garwood. That speaks it all and because of this author i'm in love with Highland. And that's the reason why i want to go to Scotland. The view there also captures my heart and their accent can really make me melt. I know i'm living in a dreamland but i do hope i find love close to the one like Alec Kincaid. Someone??? Please marry me and end my misery. But mind you, i'm a Muslim and i want to keep it this way and i hope you are too. Lead me to be a good Muslimah and i'll love you thousand times more or maybe zillion. Be my husband. :) Until then my dear Daisy. Find my husband for me cause only you can spread my heart out.

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Now, i'm bored. For the past few days i've been busy uploading stuff onto my blogshop. Owh, did i tell you that i launch my blogshop already? I think it was on Monday that i launch it. So, i've been busy then. I've been wrecking my brain with mathematics, accounts and Excel. I'm learning Excel all over again. I forgot on using it and thanks to Youtube i manage to learn it in no time. Now, i'm bored cause i finish everything so far. And there hasn't been any sales going on. I don't know if this is a failure or not but i believe in my dream and i shall wait. Besides that, i've been changing the price over and over again. And the price that i'm putting is totally ridiculous. I know it is within my decision but i have to pleased my older sister since she's the one whose been giving me money for all that. This is the reason why i don't want to use her money at all. But, i have a plan. I pleased and at the same time, i pleased myself. I never like putting such a ridiculous price for the things that i sell. It's not right and i don't believe in 'RIBA'. Riba is a Muslim terms where you overprice onto something just for the sake of having extra money. It's illegal and i don't like it at all. I'll do whatever i can to avoid it and the price that i put on that blog is just a bluff. I just want to please my sister. That's all. I don't like her butting onto this thing. I have my reason and i know what to do.

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

Lately, people only talk about politic here and there. It's not like i don't give much care about my own country but seriously, can't they just be thankful? If there is any imperfection, then what do you expect? We are human, living in this not aeon world. No wonder people keep on saying the world is coming to an end. Thanks to the ungrateful brat. No matter how old they are, i'll call them brat for being ungrateful. I have to wonder to what extent they want to be pampered. Will it always be about money and power? This things are not even eternity. It doesn't give you immortality or anything of the sorts. Talking about politics at such age and demand so many things. They talked back like they have a clue about the past. Youth nowadays are just too much. Think deeply and look back at the history. See the difference and be grateful. Just be thankful. And no, i don't grow up in a place that is modern enough to your thinking. I grew up in a different kind of place. From the deep forest to the chaotic city. I saw the difference and how my thinking matures along with it. I learn about being thankful at such a young age but why can't they? Talk big and demand for such a petty things. Talking about this really annoys me. Sorry Daisy for talking about politics. But i'm tired of watching the news and its all about politics. Even the people are stupid enough with their judgement. Pampered brat. Lot of them. Until then...

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

It's quite stormy today well obviously because a storm is just nearby. It's been a while. The last time i felt that eerie wind when i was in Taiwan. Well that one was typhoon. But i'm still reminded by that. 

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

And another busy moment. There might be times where i miss my peacefulness. My quiet mind and the time when my brain stop thinking. But that is impossible now since i'm addicted with thinking. Even the smallest thing i have to look through it more and closely. And there goes my smoky brain. I've been using it for a while now. I wonder if my thinking has gotten old despite my age. I am not defying my age or anything but i'm just worried if the way i think become too serious for everything. I don't really want that at the moment although i do know that's just how life goes. I still want to fall in love with the childish side of mine. I want to be pampered and with that, i need to hold onto my maturing process at the moment. 

Thee, Daisy

Dear Daisy,

It's a ritual thing. Every year i would change the title of this post. Why Thee, Daisy? Erm, actually i want to put Thy Daisy and since i'm not sure what's the meaning of 'thy' i google it up and i happen to find something more meaningful than 'thy'. Thee. I replace it. Everyone might still wonders why Daisy. Why not other famous flowers such as rose or sunflower. The name Daisy sounds soft, sweet and loveable but in reality it lives in the wild. So, in my point of view, daisy is a strong flower on the inside but shows a very timid personality to its surrounding. Besides that, i love the flower daisy. I don't need red roses or blue roses. All i need is daisy. It suits my personality. Just like daisy, i am just like that. 

Be My Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I'm kind like avoiding my family at the moment. I don't feel like talking to them. Beside that, i refuse to join them this morning and that might have cause some other things. As for me, i'm immune being in this state. Although there are times it stress me out to the point i cry my heart out but there are also times where i just hang in there and smile with my own stupidity. Being with them is fun and exciting. Among other things there are also a part where i feel suffocate. I'm the type of person who rarely refuse and just do what they ask me. But when i do refuse and ignore all their wishes, this sort of things happen. They got mad and no matter how many good deeds you do in the past, you won't be remembered by it. You would only be remember because you just said no. And the whole refusing thing that i did this morning has made me the bad person in the family. I know i'm not suppose to refuse going to the event this morning but i got so irritated early in the morning to the point i could not persuade myself to do the bidding. So in the end i just ignore whatever they say and went back to sleep. I don't like people wake me up early in the morning. I prefer waking up by myself and not by them who keeps on shouting. It's annoying.  And due to that, they don't even care about me. They didn't bother if i eat or not. They just didn't bother. Truthfully i'm feeling sick because i had lunch at 5 p.m. I didn't have my breakfast and i just engage myself inside the room. I make things worse. I don't even want to talk to them. Their attitude is killing me at the moment. I want to go far away Daisy. So far away. Can i do that? I don't want to come home anymore. Until then Daisy.

Be My Daisy

Dear Daisy,

I wonder how many things i have given up for now. I seems to be doing that a lot. Although i am known for my stubborn nature and endless try out but somehow lately i just realize there are certain things that i have truly give up. I'm surprised at it myself since i am not that type of person but the truth can really make you speechless at times like this. I wonder why i didn't realize it long ago and i wonder why i decided to give up. This is never a good news nor it's something that i'm proud of. I'm scared Daisy, i'm scared i lost the warmth places in my heart. If i lose all that, i terrified myself at the thought of me being in the same category with people who love to shed blood and let lust and power overwhelm them. I don't want to be that person and now it just scares me. I'm scared of myself and i really do need help. Like any other people who desperately needed help, even my friends rejected me at times like this. I can't even dwell for my heartbreaking moment or talk to my friend about it. Nor my family. Day by day, it's just getting heavier. That's probably the reason why i look like i have given up on it. I'm busy mending my heart every day and busy meddling myself with other people's matter. I forgot that i need to look after myself. I'm probably too eager to be mature and grow up. That's not how it goes. My heart is in pain knowing i give up when i don't want to. I still want to fix things. I still do even if it hurts. This heart of mine, i wish it has a bigger space for me to sort everything out. Feeling gloomy.